TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
3. a) you can legally kill yourself b) you can legally be killed
4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital...
6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition
7. You can put you finger in a dyke and it will save your country.
8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbors.
9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you loose your keys, blame the Germans.
10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country.
3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
4. You are either A) like the Dutch, just less efficient. B) like the French, just less romantic. C) like the Germans, just more anything.
5. Decent fries. Real mayo. Great chocolate. The best beer.
6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders
10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time and then loosing it in the first round the next time
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4. If there is a war you can surrender really early
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have woman president without electing her
2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. you can be crook and still be president
5. If you've got enough money you can get selected to do anything 6. if you can breathe you can get a gun
7. You get to be really obese
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care
9. You get to call everyone you've never met buddy
10. You can think you're the greatest nation in the world

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two world wars and one world cup
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of Cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed ever single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH
1. You are not English
2. You are not English
3. You are not English
4. You are not English
5. You are not English
6. You are not English
7. You are not English
8. You are not English
9. You are not English
10. You are not English

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
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Give them a second chance
1. Oktoberfest
2. Oktoberfest-beer
3. BMW
4. VW
5. AUDI
6. MERCEDES
7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world
8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious
10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law